April 26, 2017

When Motherhood Is Only Hard All the Time

You push the laundry room door open as wide as it can go while stepping over the mound to reach the machines.  “Don’t come in here,” you tell your little ones, but they follow you into the room, climbing onto the pile behind you.  With arms loaded down with hot, clean clothes from the dryer, you turn around to find you’re trapped in the laundry room with a toddler and a preschooler who’ve shut the door just in time for you to climb back over the mountain and head to the living room.  You manage to get the door open, only dropping a few socks, only to realize that the baby has picked up a wet washcloth from the corner of the laundry room.

You scramble out the door, dump the laundry on the sofa, then grab the baby, mumbling something about how gross that is and why WHY does everything have to be so hard?

Convinced you just need to finish your coffee, you sit, hoping for a few minutes of still and quiet, but just as you bring your cup to your lips, a squirming little one next to you bumps the cup almost out of your hands.  “Read this book, Mom,” he says.  Rubbing your eyes, you read, shifting your coffee to a safe spot between your hip and the arm of the chair.

The baby’s got a loaded diaper by now.  You wrestle him down and get him all cleaned up. Boy, is he strong! And you think to yourself, “I just need to finish that coffee and I’ll be ready for this day.”

One more time, you grab that cup.  You take a big slurp and almost spit it right out, it’s so cold.  So you microwave it, sit back down again and…Plop!

You don’t know whether to laugh or cry that your one-year-old has tossed a clementine directly into your cup.  Is it REALLY this hard? you think to yourself.

So many days, this is my morning scene, and unfortunately, if I’m not very purposeful in keeping my focus, I fall into a pattern of thinking that sounds a lot like a lie that says “Motherhood is only hard, all the time!”

It’s not, moms.  That’s a deception.  And it’s a lie from the enemy.  A trick to get us to feel sorry for ourselves.  To shift our focus onto poor little us.  Oh, he’s sneaky like that.  We can’t even see how blessed we are, “trapped” in that laundry room with all those clothes and such nice machines to help us with them.  We can’t even see our luxurious lifestyles of getting to make a second coffee if we so desire (or if our boy throws an orange into our cup.)  Because we’re fixated on our struggles.  See how easy it happens?

Sure, those things are annoying, but in the grand scheme of things, do they matter?  Will they matter in Eternity?

Right now, what matters most is training those little hearts for the Lord.  That’s it.  Love them and nurture them and train them.  That’s what has Eternal value.

If you’re struggling with thinking that motherhood is only hard all the time, I invite you to try and shift your focus.  Ask God to help you, to do it for you, even.  And decide to remember, just for today, that your work is significant.

Your job as a mother has Eternal value.

 


Comments

  1. Did you break into my home and watch my mornings to get your inspiration? 🙂
    My husband is so good about listening to my rants of all the thing that went ‘wrong’ in my day, as soon as he gets in the door, then gently saying, “I’ll trade you.” Now that’s convicting. Thank you for sharing this inspiring post.

  2. Danielle says:

    thank you so much. This is my battle of late – not focusing on me and serving my family. Mothering is the most humbling, amazing thing I’ve ever gotten to do!

  3. Love this! Had to share the encouragement with my FB friends! Thank you so much!

  4. Yes. This.

  5. Thank you so, so much for this! This is EXACTLY what I needed today.

  6. Brandy, thanks for sharing your morning–one we can all relate to, I’m sure! Thank God for the ability to look back at those moments and laugh. We all need a clementine in our coffee chuckle, don’t we? I always marvel at how funny my day was when I’m retelling the stories to my husband. My goal is to start laughing while they’re happening (or at least shortly after–let’s be real.) 🙂

  7. Another great post! It’s really easy to feel like we have it so hard, and that on one else has challenges like this. The reality is that every person faces challenges, and God’s strength is enough!

  8. So true!!! Thank you for sharing. This week as I was reading aloud our chapter book to the kids, we look over to the baby on the blanket and he was about to roll over for the first time. We watched for a few seconds and clapped and cheered as he rolled over!!! Snapping a few pictures, I realized how thankful to be at home, teaching my kids, and seeing the progression of life. There are definitely hard and discouraging days, but thanks for the remindet that it is soooo worth it. Teaching for eternity!!!

  9. Thank you. This was a true blessing today. Found this post through a friends facebook share, and I will be sharing as well.

  10. Beautifully said! I know that I have felt like this more times than I would like to admit. 🙂

  11. Courtney says:

    Whoa. For real it feels like you pried open my head today and read my exact thoughts! Thank ou for taking the time to write this – it was really convicting in a wonderful way!

  12. I am glad to hear those words. I was convicted of that today when complaining about having to clean up sheets that had been peed on and vomited on. Good to keep things in perspective. Thank you!

  13. Being a mom has been so hard as of late. Illness has ripped through our house for 2 weeks. I’m exhausted. And I’m just hanging on knowing tomorrow is a new day.
    Thanks for your words today.

    • Praying with you, in the same boat. But somehow amazingly have time to read and post this. Thank you Brandy and thank you Lord. Julie May he give you wings like eagles and peace which passes all understanding right now. Amen

  14. As a mom of 2 1/2 twin boys and a 9 month old girl and hubby who works out of town I have this type of morning daily. Wait a few times a day cause I can never seem to finish that cup of coffee. I have to stop and stand in the mound of clothes often and remind myself it’s no someone else fault I’m having the crazy day I am having.. I willing choose to have baby 3 so soon and stay at home. — so thanks for the reminder that its not hard all the time

  15. Miranda says:

    Oh my goodness! Sounds like such a typical day around my house! Today was my oldest son’s 5th birthday. In the process of trying to get him and his three brothers (3, 2 & 8 mos.) out the door to go spend the day with his Mimi, we managed to break the birthday gift his Grandma had just given him last night! He was crying, saying “It’s not a happy birthday, Mom!” I was in tears myself, but we managed to make it into town for his free kids meal and ice cream cone, had a wonderful visit with his Mimi and aunties, and took his baby brother (finally) to his first photo shoot. Now, at the end of the day, I am thankful for God’s grace that is ALWAYS sufficient, my boys’ forgiveness that is always abundant, and memories that will always be cherished! And, BTW, so glad I’m not the only mom who chases her kiddos out of the laundry room (and locks the door after them) ’cause it’s just too yucky to be crawling around in! 😉 Thanks so much for this article. As always, it came at the perfect time!

  16. This hit the spot for me this week. Thank you!

  17. This oh-so-true reminder is very soothing to hear. I am in a very exhausting and emotion-filled season of life right now and each day is such a struggle. My goals every day are to make sure everyone gets food and sleep. 😉 I know these days will not last forever (right??) and my prayer is that when they are over we will be able to see that we were also building character and love for the Lord in the midst of ‘just surviving’.

  18. Beth in Illinois says:

    Great post!! I think I’m going to be re-reading this in the coming weeks. I’m due Wednesday with baby # 4. His siblings are 4, 3, and 1 so I know things are going to be a little crazy and my patience will certainly be tested. It’s easy to forget how important being a mother is.Lately I have been feeling a little sorry for myself and complaining about needing a bigger house. Yesterday I was reading A Little House on the Prairie to my 4 year old and realized how lucky we are to have all these modern conveniences and the fact that we don’t all live in one big room together!!

  19. Thanks so much for this! I have been feeling like this a lot of days, and recently have been asking the Lord to help me repent and get rid of this horrible attitude of discontentedness! I have been feeling so much better…my patience is better, I don’t find myself losing it, and I show much more compassion to my little ones. Thanks for the reminder that THIS is what’s of eternal value…not our household chores. 🙂 And I so enjoy your food posts as well, since my entire family is now gluten free!

  20. Chrissy says:

    I, too, needed this. I am newly pregnant with my 5th and my 4th in 3 1/2 years. I am struggling with nausea and exhaustion and wondering if I’m doing the job of motherhood any justice. Sometimes it’s overwhelming. Helps to know someone else has been there and the encouragement to keep my eyes on God is awesome.

  21. Thanks for writing this–I love the quote by Charles Spurgeon.

  22. So well written and something every mother can relate to!
    May we as mothers remember to cherish every moment…time goes by too fast!
    Thank you for writing.

  23. I needed this today. I couldn’t even finish reading your blog post before the toddler filled his diaper, dumped out his cheerios out of anger, then proceded to climb on to the couch and threaten to take off said diaper when my oldest woke up and asked for her breakfast. And I still have half a cup of coffee left.

  24. Thank you.

  25. Rebecca says:

    A good reminder for me, after dealing with a tummy bug in our 2 1/2 year old son most of the week, as well as feeling badly myself, and adjusting to life with a newborn also! The house is a mess and I am exhausted, but it is encouraging to know that all this hard work will bear good fruit in God’s Kingdom. Thank you!

  26. It’s good to know we are all experiencing similar things.

    I love the picture of the clementine in your coffee!

    Thanks for the encouragement!

  27. As a new mother I learned really fast that if I kept a clean house that would make my day 90% more calm and easier. I minimized and got rid if so many things and I clean up daily and constantly put things away so that they don’t add up. With the laundry I have a rule that I will not start a new load untill the previous one is folded and put away. I also wipe the bathrooms daily so they never get super dirty. And at night before bed I take 10 minutes just to pick up and organize things as I go about. So far this as helped me soo much because I wake up and my house is basicly clean. Makes me less stresses. After breakfast I get rid of the dishes ASAP. I hope this helps some moms. But yes, I do still have to reheat that cup of tea many times too:) lol

  28. Thank you! I needed that Spurgeon quote that I just saw on Pinterest! My hats off to you for homeschooling 8 boys! May God bless you with daily strength and wisdom and joy!! I’ve been blessed with 2 and only homeschooling one at the moment….a very strong one…and I need all the encouragement I can get most days.

  29. Just found you via pinterest, and this post was such an encouragement to me today. Thank you!

  30. I am a grandma now, but Oh….I remember these days. One time my husband had a surgical procedure and so he was upstairs in bed resting….my little kiddos were doing all that little kiddos do. I got so frustrated that I walked out side and closed the front door tightly behind me. It was a blizzard, cold and snowy all around me and I had locked the door. Those 3 sweet little ones smiled at me…..actually, I wasn’t too sure they were going to let me back in, but they did. And then there was the time, someone (have him at your house too?) blew his nose on my living room curtains!! All of you young moms are doing a great job…when you can’t see it, we who are older can. WE see all that you pour into the lives of your children…..you are all blessings to me.

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