July 26, 2017

What Moms Need: Week 5 – Companionship

like 2 little soccer moms on their way to get a coffee with the babies.

I’ve known so many mothers over the years who have shared with me that they just wish they had one thing.

A friend.

The job of motherhood is hard enough when life is “ordinary” and “normal”. We need friends even then. As we discussed in last week’s post on Rest, hanging around other moms, just for fun, is therapeutic. Whether we’re in an easy phase or a rough spot in life, one thing is for sure. We all need our friends.

God intended for us to have friends.  They’re great for lots of things like:

  • laughing with and enjoying life together.   A cheerful heart is good medicine…(Proverbs 17:22)
  • crying together.   Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. (Romans 12:15)
  • bearing each other’s burdens.   Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

I sometimes feel like I don’t have time to “be” with my friends, what with chasing seven boys and all, but I do manage somehow to stay connected to my best friends. One way or another.

  • I have one really great friend who is like a sister to me, that I ONLY talk to on Facebook, seeing how she’s moved to another continent recently.
  • My sister lives three to four hours from me, and we communicate mostly by phone. She gets special privileges, talking to me on the phone, that is…..since I have weird-social-phone-lady-syndrome, plus a lot of kids.
  • I have other friends that I text back and forth with….mostly updating each other on the current health status of our children.
  • I email back and forth with another special friend every once in a while.
  • I message back and forth with a couple of other moms on Facebook now and then, but see them only occasionally.
  • And there are other moms that I see here and there, at random social gatherings, but rarely talk to them online.

And while each of these relationships is different, they are all very important to me.  Each of these ladies serve a purpose in my life as I have deliberately chosen to associate with them as they are uplifting, encouraging and just wonderful people.

That all sounds easy enough, but still so many moms have asked me over the years just HOW to find friendships in the first place.  I know it’s easier for some personality types than others, but the basic idea is this:  A man that hath friends must show himself friendly…..(Proverbs 18:24)  So get out there and make friends.  Be friendly first.  🙂  Yes, you need to choose your friends wisely (“The righteous choose their friends carefully”…Proverbs 12:26),  but don’t be intimidated.

Now, having said all that, I will never discount the truth that Your Heavenly Father will always be your closest Friend and Confidant.   Psalm 25:14  “The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.”

And your husband should be your very best friend.   🙂    Matthew 19:4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

What about you?  How do you stay connected to your friends?  Do you struggle with a need for companionship?

To catch up, click here for previous weeks’ posts:

photo credit


Comments

  1. This is really good, and it is definitely something I struggle with. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in life and not making your friendships outside of your home a priority. Thanks for the reminder!

    Oh, and I have that “weird-social-phone-lady-syndrome” too! Glad to know I’m not alone! Only my twin sister and my mom get special phone privileges. 😉 I blame my twin sister for the syndrome, since growing up she did all of the talking and leading, and I was never forced to face my fear. It’s funny to talk about, but sadly it’s true!

    • Hey Brit! Thanks for your comment. I guess I can’t really explain my phone awkwardness. It’s developed more and more through the years, making me believe it has something to do with noise and children, etc. Maybe? 🙂

    • Shelly Smith says:

      I have that “weird-social-phone -lady-syndrome” too! Always have (I was never the “typical” teenage girl!!) But, I so relate to this message, and plan to share your post with all my close friends that have gotten me through some rough spots!!

  2. Erica Miller says:

    It’s so nice to know that someone else doesn’t like talking on the phone! I think it started when we began only having cellphones. They give me a headache so I have to use speakerphone if I talk. And its just too noisy most of the time to even try 🙂

  3. I loved this post. And I had to laugh about the phone syndrome! That is so me! Before I had kids, I had no problem talking on the phone, but now I am either too tired or busy, plus I am surrounded by my wild sons all the time. I just don’t talk to friends on the phone. Even if I try to talk on the phone, my kids instantly get much louder and more needy, which cuts any conversation very short. 😉

  4. I have no phone issues. None. Nada. Hubs marvels at how long I can talk to friends and family. I do, however, prefer to be face-to-face.
    We have moved so much, and I am so blessed to have friends all over the US that I talk to via Facebook, email, my blog, and the phone, but no one who lives close to me. The closest of my dearest friends is almost 2 hours away.
    I have met several nice women here that I am blessed to hand out with periodically and it is so uplifting!
    What I don’t have right here with me is, another mom of a large family. You know, someone who understands the logistics and uniqueness that comes with having a slightly sizable crew. 🙂 Maybe one day God will bring that friend into my life.
    Awesome post!

  5. Emmy Gallodoro says:

    I have just recently found your blog, thanks to pinterest. I am catching up here but I have to say I couldn’t have read this at a more perfect time. The town I live in I didn’t up in and have had a difficult time finding friends. I have tried being friends with the moms at the stuff I bring my boys too but I have found that they either have their clicks or our age gaps prevent us from being close. My husbands cousin has just started bringing his girlfriend around the family and we have become very close but they aren’t married and therefore don’t have kids. I would love to find a friend that also homeschools so we can go through this journey together. I have prayed for this for 5 years now and I will continue to pray until my prayers have been answered

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