November 18, 2017

Making Home a Haven: Positive Speech

So much to do, so many piles to conquer, and I’m left, as usual, trying to keep in perspective what matters most.

It’s been a hard day, as many Tuesdays are around our house.  I actually heard myself say today, “If that Bible movie is lost, I’m going to be really mad.”

Really?  I no sooner had the words out of my mouth before I was convicted.

I’m certain of a few truths in this life, including:

  • Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouths speaks. (Luke 6:45)
  • As is the gardener such is the garden, as is the wife such is the family.
  • Moms set the tone in the home.

As a mother, are the words coming forth from my mouth reflective of a heart that’s peaceful and content in Him?  Or do I hear my frustration, impatience, and lack of gentleness as I methodically attempt to raise these boys into men of God?

Have I lost inspiration to make my home a haven, the happiest place on earth for these nine young men that I love with my whole heart?  Do they, as my garden, reflect my tender care?  Are they well-pruned, watered, and nurtured, or have I become pessimistic, and sometimes lazy with my speech (and thus my own heart-keeping)?

Do I remember the significance of my role as Mother in this family?  Have I forgotten that my tone – my speech, my actions, my words, my habits, my heart message – is being infused into every single one of my family members?

They’re sponges, these little ones, and we only get one chance to shape them for a lifetime.  Sure, they’ll grow up and hopefully continue to mature in the Lord, but WE are ultimately responsible for leading them to that path.

So, again….Is my speech steering them toward Him?  Or am I a hypocrite to my children when I say to them in a hostile tone that I will be angry if they’ve lost the Bible movie?

Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.  And it isn’t just our words that they’re hearing.  Our face and tone convey a much deeper message than the words we say.

Want to pray a bold prayer with me?  I pray that not only is my speech positive, and a blessing to others, but that my facial expressions and my voice tone are congruent with my heart’s message.  Ultimately, if you pray this with me, you’re asking God to do heart work on you, just as He needs to do on me.




  1. I so needed this, Brandy! I’ve really been struggling with this the past two weeks. So much so that I can’t seem to enjoy anything. Just yesterday I had a heart to heart talk with my 5 boys. We discussed attitudes and heart issues. Now we’re working on memorizing verses together that pertain to all these things.
    Thanks for this post. You’re always such an encouragement to me!
    And by the way, I’ve been eating good and excercising with the boys this week. 🙂

  2. The tone of my home is so incredibly negative. I know it’s my fault. I am generally a negative person. One thing goes wrong and I am in freak out mode! This post convicted me. Things need to change starting with me! Thank you, Brandy for this reminder.

    • Sarah, I’m humbled by your comment. Thanks for being honest and willing to change. It’s so easy for us to see faults in others, but when it comes to the change, like you said, needing to START in us, so often I think we can get defensive. Or for me, I say/think things like, “well it’s just so hard, or well, if you guys would just do xyz…..” And how many times have I heard myself say to others when they blame their poor behavior on me: “So I am responsible for your negative attitude/actions?” We’re each responsible for our own attitudes and behavior and speech, yes. And as a mom, I am SO convicted to ask God to change my heart/attitude/actions to be cheerfully contagious…..Oh my goodness. Thanks for talking, Sarah! 🙂

  3. Oh gosh, convicted here. I have been so crabby at my toddler lately. I’m not dealing well with him pushing the limits and trying my patience. I KNOW I’m the one with the attitude problem and it’s so hard for me to change. I’ve caught myself in the middle of a frustrated expression and yet I keep doing it over and over even w hen I don’t want to. Thanks for those verses. I need to meditate on them and keep praying.

  4. I was up last night frustrated beyond belief, finding myself in a battle of ‘wills’ with my 4 year old. I didn’t handle it as well as I could have. After my son was finally asleep I saw you had posted this blog. It was so timely…and had me convicted to the core. I have found myself not enjoying my kids, and always expecting the worst out of them. Which is a wrong attitude. So thank you for posting this….it has me encouraged as much as it has me convicted. I needed to read these words. Bless you Brandy…this is such a ministry to all of us moms!

  5. This post is so convicting and honest, Brandy. Thank you so much. We have gotten out of the habit of memorizing scripture. I think I need to bust out some new ones that emphasize the need for kind words to each other.

  6. This inspired me – thank you!

    God bless,

  7. I have felt the holy Spirit moving in me to recognize my words and my tone of voice in the last few weeks as well. My daughter who is 19 months, has begun to scowl at everyone which led me to pondering if she has seen this expression on my face. Did I teach her that? I certainly hope not!
    I, like you, Brandy desire to train my children in this; that my speech be with grace and to treat all with kindness.

  8. Wow….. I too needed this.
    “But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

  9. God has really been convicting me lately of this. It feels like I stay stressed out all the time and I definitely take it out on my kids. They say a good way to see what you look and sound like is to watch your kids. One of my boys started talking to his little brother the way I do them and it was a slap in my face. Do I really sound like that? It has been a process, but I’m slowly trying to think before I act. I want my home to be full of peace that my family loves to be at.

  10. I am so blessed with this. I’m a single parent of 4 children and sometimes,, I want to give up. It’s the word of God rooted in me that keeps me going on. Soo glad I found your site. God bless.

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