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If you’ve been around me (or this blog) for very long, you’ve probably heard me say, or read the words, “survival mode” as I’ve referenced the really hard year I feel like I’ve just endured.
Pause there. What did I just say?
Did I really just say that I feel like I’ve only endured, only survived? For a year?
I did. And honestly, most days, I did feel that way. Like I was doing what I know to do pretty well, and that is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Day after day. Get up, do my best, try to sleep some, and repeat. Yes, that is good. Yes, my attitude was not one of a quitter. (You’re realizing more and more why this blog is called The Marathon Mom, right?)
More Than Just Enduring
But isn’t there more to life than just surviving the race? Isn’t there more significance than just being able to say, “yeah, I ran that 26.2, and I didn’t quit! I finished!”
Endurance – that’s a good thing. It’s admirable, noble even. Definitely necessary! You simply have to finish, and as a mom, there is no compromising there.
But this past year, I’ve come to desire something more than just “finishing the race”. I have become dissatisfied with simply surviving.
I feel like God has even allowed this sort of holy discontent as a tool to bring me to desire His will for my life and my family, and that is to thrive!
He doesn’t just want us to survive, moms.
God Wants Us to THRIVE!
He wants us to run this race well, to enjoy it, and finish strong!
Jesus came that we might have life and have it to the full. (See John 10:10.)
I’m no longer satisfied with just getting through my days, scratching one item after another off the list until bedtime, then getting up every morning and doing it all over again.
What message am I sending to my kids if they only ever see me run on auto-pilot? Am I sending the message that this home is a haven?
Or am I sending the message that life is just hard work, a series of menial tasks, one after the other, until I die? By focusing all of my energy always moving from one job to the next, is my family seeing life through the lens of surviving?
I’ve become discontent with that to the point I have to do something about it. I don’t want my husband or children to see life colored that way. Instead, I want this home to be a haven. I want them to see our home as a Life Center. Their favorite place to be. A place where we get to grow and learn together. Sure, there are still chores, and there will always be lists, dirty dishes, and diapers to change….
But It’s All Changed by One Thing: Eternal Perspective.
You see, I believe with all my heart that the Enemy desires for us to live in survival mode, because again, according to John 10:10, the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus came that we might have life and have it to the fullest!
Satan wants us to simply “get by”, to feel sorry for ourselves for all “this work” we “have to do”.
Jesus wants us to see our purpose, see our children for who God created them to be, and to see our homes as a life-giving, life-breathing, inspiring, nurturing haven to our husbands and children. Jesus wants us to see tasks and jobs as what they really are – serving and blessing our family, showing them love, nurturing them, and teaching opportunities to our children. Jesus wants us to thrive!
God wants us to see our homes as a place where our children grow into the powerful, influential people who will positively impact the world for generations to come.
Have you felt you were stuck in survival mode lately? Do you see your home as a haven? Do you see yourself as the keeper of your children’s hearts? I’ll be sharing each Monday for the next few weeks.
Are you ready to make the switch from survive to thrive?
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Love this! After our conversation yesterday, I pulled out my bible (instead of my phone) to finish my study and guess what? Izrael sat down beside me with his bible!
Oh, I love that! It is so true. I had made up my mind, too…So, my (paper) Bible was on the breakfast table this morning, too…honey and all. It’s old and tattered…and loved on. And looking at it, with all the scribbles and stars and underlines, etc, made me realize even more, how important it really is.. There’s just something to it. I will write about it.
As I’ve been doing laundry all day to catch up from a busy weekend away (with the fam!), I needed this reminder. Thank you.
If I’m understanding correctly, I think you’re saying that transitioning out of “survival mode” does not mean that life changes or gets easier, but that our outlook and focus changes. I totally agree! It’s been a tough few months at our house – my husband is working two jobs, and both of our workloads are heavy. I’ve been realizing how important it is to be happy and joyful and to cut out things that make me unable to be happy and joyful! If it’s going to put me over the edge to cook dinner and clean it all up with my hubby gone, then it’s better to just eat sandwiches with my boys and ENJOY them. Sometimes the priorities I set for myself (getting everything done on my to-do list) are not the priorities that God wants me to have (being joyful and kind). I’ve also been learning a lot about relying on God’s strength instead of my own to accomplish that things that are true Biblical priorities.
Great post, thanks for writing it!
That is exactly what I’m saying, Sarah! And many of the points you made are on my list to discuss.
You’re so right about focusing the things God wants us to. 
This is a great reminder! My husband and I frequently talk about being in survival mode b/c of all the daily challenges we have. Raising 2 young boys, him working full time, our limited income, trying to repair our home and finish those unfinished projects…or just trying to keep the darn kitchen floor swept! Thank you, thank you! I’m ready to go from survive to thrive!
This has been on my heart! I’m trying to move from survival, I can’t change any of it, but I can change my outlook! I’ve been working on giving it to God instead of trying to change it myself, or accepting it the way it is.
I’m looking forward to your posts.
This is so important, and these are really great points. We have to be very intentional about living full, joyful lives, not just surviving. I have been thinking a lot in terms of walking step by step through my day with Christ, being attentive to his leading, trying to trust things to him and not stress and worry about what is or isn’t getting done. Those things are key for me if I’m going to avoid having tunnel vision that just focuses on things that need to be done. My children are older (the youngest went to college this year) and it does get a little easier as they get older, but there are still many mundane tasks that need to be done and can suck the life out of our days.
One practical step we can take is to “offload” things we’re doing that just don’t contribute to the life we want to lead right now. Those things may be fine later, but they just don’t have a place right now.
Gaye
I love this. I think about this issue….EVERY NIGHT…AFTER I’ve lived in ‘survival’ mode all day. While in the shower, or while blogging, I DETERMINE myself to not be that way…then lo and behold, morning comes, and survival mode begins. Thank you for this conscious reminder! Do you have any tips for this? I mean, I FEEL like our home is happy and stuff….and we spend lots of time talking about God, the Bible, finances, playing, etc. But sometimes I think my kids do only remember the to-do lists and mundane things. I guess my question is, what are you going to do in your house to change this? I need tips!
I have so much more to say, Liz. I plan on writing a whole lot of what God is teaching me. I am hoping to share at least once a week for the next few weeks.
Stay plugged in. You’re doing great. 
Exactly my thoughts tonight & I look forward to your posts. We’ve been in survival mode for a long time, and we’re taking things too seriously around my house. Time to lighten up and make some fun family memories. Find joy in the journey. Do we know how to do that?!?
YES PLEASE! It is terrible but I feel this way too every day. Throw in sickness and it just adds up to more and more survival and less and less enjoyment. I don’t want my time with God to be just another check mark on my to do list. Or my time with my kids either. Another chore that I can’t enjoy. Seriously, I don’t know how you do it with 8 children! I thank you for your constant encouragement. I am a full time working mom (praying that changes in the near future) and survival is sometimes all I know. I’m lucky to be blessed with a husband that picks up my slack more so than he should have to. I am constantly rushing my kids on to the next task or scheduled appointment. It hits me when my 4 year old will tell me that she is going to hurry through something. She shouldn’t have to think like that! I’m looking forward to your Monday posts. Thanks again.
I cried when I read this. This has been an issue on my heart since the birth of baby boy #3 a few months ago. I often feel, too, as if it’s just one chore after another all day long (often the same chore over and over and over… ha!) Thank you for the reminder- these chores are blessing the ones we love!! This post was just what I needed today!
This has been on my mind sooooo much! I am about to have our 4th baby in 5 years. My youngest just turned 1. I feel like I’ve been in survival mode for a while and with a new little one coming I know it will continue for a least a little while. Some days are better than others, and I’ve been making a conscious effort to remember to be grateful for all that I have, but it is still hard. I really look forward to your posts!
There was a year I was definitely in survival mode, and I did for a moment feel guilt about it, however mine was for a different reason, I was grieving the lost of a loved one after their long battle with cancer. I was worn out from visiting, caring for and …yes worrying (hate admitting that) about my mom. After her passing I was so mentally and physical worn out and I was grieving on top of it..survival mode just kicked in without me even thinking about it. I remember the day so clearly that I finally emerged from it, the whole world seem brighter, and the clutter that had built up overwhelming! But the return of laughter oh that felt so good, and the return of joy …oh the return of joy… that leaves me speechless.
Hi, I’m the mom 7 boys (and 1 daughter) just found your blog. First person I “met” with more boys than me.
Roll on Monday!
Can’t wait to hear what Gods been showing you and pray it can be learned by me as well
i respect you a lot. love what you write. blessed to be reminded—
“Jesus wants us to see tasks and jobs as what they really are – serving and blessing our family, showing them love, nurturing them, and teaching opportunities to our children.”
Thank you so much! I appreciate your encouragement!
Thank you for writing this! I really need this right now. I have been in survival mode for a year after a loss of a baby and felt like I just get overwhelmed with the basics get up clean, cook, homework, sleep and repeat. With 4 kids I have felt it just wasn’t good enough. This is giving me a great new perspective. Thank you!